God’s wish for me is to go Commando

Have you ever put on your favorite cute pink polka dotted thong underwear. Worn them around just long enough to forget about them only to then start getting stabbing pains reminiscent of a urinary tract infection? After a quick “emergency inspection” my suspicions were  confirmed: My pink panties were on backward… again.

For some reason my new brain can’t figure out how to put on underwear. That twisty pull-the hooks-around-to the front to clip  action that used to be second nature now ends with the bra cups pointing out or, like this morning, the razor back bra ends up twisted around my upper arms leaving me looking like a botched kidnapping attempt.

I guess one solution would be to switch to gigantic grandma undies but my ego just can’t handle that so I am siding with my hero Brooke Shields’ iconic 80’s commercial “nothing comes between me and my Calvins” sentiment. At least for the summer…

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